It has been a roller-coaster since my last blog. Last weekend we had a weekend team that I will only mention briefly, because they were only here briefly. They were a quiet group, but there was one 13 year old boy who blew me away. He talked to us staff and interns with ease and was the first or sometimes only one to initiate conversation with the guys on the street. When I got to talk to him and hear some of his personal story I was even more impressed at his attitude and initiative to come join us on church on the street. He was a blessing over that tired weekend.
Last week with no team was fairly uneventful, but it was nice to sit down with friends or meet someone new and not have to worry about 40 students roaming around. Wednesday Gary, the interns, and some of the volunteer staff and regulars at Retreat went to Six Flags. Despite the record heat, it was a blast. We shared rides together, told stories in line, laughed, and just had a great time together. It did not feel like work (let's face it, it wasn't). It was just a group of friends hanging out at an amusement park, enjoying summer; never-mind the mix of nationalities, races, socioeconomic status, or backgrounds represented. Gary seemed to love it even though we couldn't get him to go on but 2 rides.
Speaking of Gary, he gave the lesson at St. Paul's this past Sunday. The message was great--based out of John 15 (one of my favorite chapters) but really hitting the whole Bible. He spoke about abiding in God, seeking him and letting him rule your life instead of anything else. One line that stuck with me went something like, "We are satisfied to have a savior but we don't want a Lord." It reminded me of what we just read, Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. In the beginning especially Bonhoeffer talks about cheap grace: how we will all jump on board for a God that will rescue us, but we are not then willing to devote ourselves to simple obedience to him, to let him rule over us. It's something I'm still greatly struggling with. Besides the message, I really enjoyed Sunday in seeing who came to support Gary. Again people of all backgrounds, some differing beliefs, but all dressed up to worship the same God and to encourage a friend.
Today was the first day with our last mission team, the team from Lauren's home church. They have been wonderful so far. They are here for an extra day so we had them do some things for partner ministries that we don't usually get a chance to work with. But this meant I did not know at all what the day was going to look like. Things kept changing and certain things took much longer and hit an obstacle that we hadn't anticipated but overall it went well. Even though I knew it would be fine and could have gone much MUCH worse, in the moment I was getting quite frustrated and anxious that we didn't have enough to do, or that plans were changing constantly. Plus we got caught in some serious rain after some time on the street this evening. A verse that has been following me around this week (and my whole life) is Matthew 6:25-34 about not worrying. I know it does no good, but I do it anyway, and the world is all about worrying. What are we going to do after college? How am I going to make money? What if this or that happens? I always struggle with insurance and savings. How do we act as responsible stewards but not rely on earthly goods and worry about the future? I don't know and I have digressed a bit into deeper water. Today was simply a good lesson for me on flexibility and faith.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
This has gotta be the good life
The team this week was great. Having 6 teams in 3 weeks, I was feeling less than enthusiastic but the group was great and their energy helped me. Even though not everything went smoothly (mainly with our work in the shelter), everyone remained flexible for the most part. Also they were good at talking to the guys (Will even said something about it) and I actually got to talk to some friends and meet some new ones myself, instead of supervising the whole time. We walked something in the neighborhood of 9 miles one day, we mopped floors another day, and spent hours in the hot summer sun with guys on the street or kids in their neighborhoods, but we all had a good time.
I actually got to have some deeper conversation about God and marriage with a guy that I usually talk with about more surface stuff. I also had some good conversation with Jennifer which I have been hoping to do for some time. Though we don't always see eye to eye on everything and I challenge her frequently, I can see she is so determined to get passed some things she is struggling with and I think she really heard what I was saying today.
On a completely different note we had some big news going around this week. One of my good friends from the street thought he might have cancer but got some results back on wednesday that show it is not!! I'm so thankful. Another friend I found out had lied to a bunch of us about something and is now in jail. It is disappointing to have someone I thought that I could trust let me down. I have been better lately about not being cynical, but this blow hurt and obviously makes me question more of what people tell me.
One good thing about mission teams is that when we talk to them and debrief at the end of the week I listen to their comments of what they have learned and I get to rediscover all the things I have learned myself. One student talked about talking with the guys and forgetting that is was his task for the day. He wasn't evangelizing or having even particularly deep conversation, but it just felt like taking a break, sitting with some buddies and I remember those times when I first experienced that. One major theme this team touched on was deepening existing friendships. We set out this week to love people and to get to know them. Some people share with us their lives and messy pasts. One girl noted that she had learned more about some of these guys in a few days than she knows about some of the people that she has grown up in the church with. This really compelled me to not only love my friend and neighbors, but to be intentional about getting to know them and drawing into deeper relationships.
It occurred to me today that we only have 2 weeks left. I can't believe how fast it has gone by. It has been an awesome experience and the weirdest job I could have imagined probably. We have one team here this weekend, one week off, then a team for the last full week. I pray I can finish strong and continue to see things in a new light.
I actually got to have some deeper conversation about God and marriage with a guy that I usually talk with about more surface stuff. I also had some good conversation with Jennifer which I have been hoping to do for some time. Though we don't always see eye to eye on everything and I challenge her frequently, I can see she is so determined to get passed some things she is struggling with and I think she really heard what I was saying today.
On a completely different note we had some big news going around this week. One of my good friends from the street thought he might have cancer but got some results back on wednesday that show it is not!! I'm so thankful. Another friend I found out had lied to a bunch of us about something and is now in jail. It is disappointing to have someone I thought that I could trust let me down. I have been better lately about not being cynical, but this blow hurt and obviously makes me question more of what people tell me.
One good thing about mission teams is that when we talk to them and debrief at the end of the week I listen to their comments of what they have learned and I get to rediscover all the things I have learned myself. One student talked about talking with the guys and forgetting that is was his task for the day. He wasn't evangelizing or having even particularly deep conversation, but it just felt like taking a break, sitting with some buddies and I remember those times when I first experienced that. One major theme this team touched on was deepening existing friendships. We set out this week to love people and to get to know them. Some people share with us their lives and messy pasts. One girl noted that she had learned more about some of these guys in a few days than she knows about some of the people that she has grown up in the church with. This really compelled me to not only love my friend and neighbors, but to be intentional about getting to know them and drawing into deeper relationships.
It occurred to me today that we only have 2 weeks left. I can't believe how fast it has gone by. It has been an awesome experience and the weirdest job I could have imagined probably. We have one team here this weekend, one week off, then a team for the last full week. I pray I can finish strong and continue to see things in a new light.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Serve God love me and men
"Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be."
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be."
-Mumford & Sons, Sigh No More
We had another mission team this week. Besides not wanting to blog because I was getting home at 11:30 each night, I also don't want to be repeating myself with the day to day itinerary we have with each mission team. So I will skip around, give some highlights, but mainly just random thought from the week.
Tuesday on our walk I ran into a a bunch of my friends on the street, people I have seen day in and day out and I am always drawn toward them. It is nice to know people wherever we go, but I have to intentionally try and still meet new people. At Woodruff Park we ran into a woman who needed help. She actually didn't approach us but was walking with another guy who started talking to us and called her over to explain her situation. She started to tell us how she was stuck here and needed to get a bus home, and I immediately started thinking "this is the most obvious hustle for money there is. I'm not giving her anything." She never actually asked us for money but instead asked us to use a phone. Still coming off of the sting of having mine stolen myself, Andrew let her use his. She made a call as we continued to talk to her friend (or really a guy she had just met) and after couple minutes she hung up, handed the phone back, and said someone was going to meet here at 5 points! I had dismissed her, but by just giving her a little chance, a simple favor we (or Andrew rather) kept her off the streets that night. You'd think after doing this for over 2 months I would realize that everyone has a story and I need to listen and offer whatever I can, but I have to work to not become cynical by all the games that I do see around me.
One night this week some of us went out late with the mission team (this was not a COTS endorsed program! just something they wanted to do independently and we joined them). We were downtown late when me and 2 of the boys stopped to talk to this man sitting on the sidewalk outside a McDonalds. He had crutches leaning next to him, a swollen ankle, and a urine bag attacked to his abdomen. It became clear after talking to him for a few minutes that he also suffered from some mental disability. Anyway we talked to him for a bit and one of the boys went to go get him a hamburger. about that time two cops came over on bikes. They started telling the man he needed to move along. We stayed for a moment but after giving him his food, we said our goodbyes and walked away, trying to not make any waves with the police. One of the policemen rode up behind us and asked if we needed directions. I said no and that we were just walking around with some friends in the area. He started to ride off but before he did he blurted, "Stop feeding the bums! They are like cats, they will keep coming back." I was so mad. I could physically feel a knot in my chest, and was glad that he rode off so I won't even have to fight to keep from responding to him.
Thursday we walked part of the belt-line and met two men named Herman and Willy. I talked more with Willy. He has been homeless for about 30 years. We didn't talk for long before he pulled out a small photo album and began to show us all the pictures, and with pride explaining who each person was and a little about them. Herman was scrounging up chairs for people, trying to make them as comfortable as possible. It seemed like such a natural thing that you might do at someone's house: sit down, pull out the photo album and get to know the family. It just so happened that their "house" is under a bridge.
Something I have been thinking about this week and last week is a point that was made in one of the books we have been reading. The author explains that the story of the good Samaritan starts with the question "Who is my neighbor?" This question is a negative question, limiting. It really implies, who isn't my neighbor? Who don't I have to love? And after Jesus tells the whole story, he doesn't say "everyone is your neighbor", or "love everyone in need". He asks the question "Who acted as a neighbor?" He flips the question to a positive call to action and refuses to limit. He basically says, you are asking the wrong question! You are focusing on who are "they", when you should be focusing on who are you. Not are they worthy but what could you be doing?
As many times as I have heard this story this flipping of the focus has never been clear to me. The message always looks to what the good Samaritan does and not how Jesus frames the story. But I think it is so important to see. Andy always says that COTS shouldn't have to exist. People should love their neighbors anyway. If we took this verse seriously, COTS would not be needed, but that's just not the world we live in.
In general this week it has been evident to me that some of these people are really letting me into their lives. I'm learning more about their struggles, plans, and needs. We are not offering "services" but do try and help our friends with their particular needs. It is a slow, often discouraging, nonlinear path, but every once in a while you get to do something for some one. And even when I can't do something for someone, just getting closer and sharing our lives together is amazing.
I have re-realized how little I actually do. I'm not "evangelizing", feeding, helping fight addictions, or any of that. I am listening to, laughing and sharing with, and occasionally challenging people. I believe that these do matter. But just like any short term mission trip, I am taking away infinitely more than I am giving.
Friday, July 15, 2011
I've got Nothing to Do Today But Smile
The past 2 days with the mission team have been great. Yesterday Big John led us all over the city and met a bunch of people. It's was cool to see kids (and leaders) branching out and talking to more and more men and women on the street; a few of them having very emotional encounters with these strangers.
In the evening we went to Kids Club with an organization called Night Light. Night Light works to rescue women from the sex industry and part of that means prevention. The average age of entry into prostitution in the US is 11-14 years old. So Night Light works with kids to provide them with a loving environment, teach them about Christ, and show them a different type of life that is available to them, apart from gangs, violence, drugs, and prostitution. So we went to an "at risk" neighborhood and hung out with these kids; playing games, worshiping, coloring, just having a great time. I've gone to Kid's Club quite a few times but it has been about a year. So going back it was nice to see that there are a bunch of the same kids there. They didn't remember me but I remembered a handful of them. There is something about playing with kids, especially kids starved for attention that can completely lift your spirit. One girl was a little shy when I tried to talk to her, but would not let me walk away. She held my hands and sat in my lap, just trying to get some affection.
The whole mission team seemed to be enjoying it (especially in contrast to walking in the heat). One girl in particular had been talking earlier in the day about how she wanted to start a program that does basically the same thing, even before she had heard of Night Light. So this mission team decided that they are going to try to start something similar in their city when they go back home and she can help run it! So the evening apparently impacted the kids and their leaders pretty seriously.
Today we started out working at the shelter disinfecting beds. The group really didn't complain, though this wasn't the most fun of tasks, and we got it down quickly. So we had some time to check out the art gallery and chat with the guys on the street before lunch. Then we hung out at Woodruff for a bit. While we were hanging out, just talking to folks, getting to know them, some men came through handing out tracks that say "if you die tonight are you 100% sure you are going to Heaven?" on the front and then have verses and prayers that well help save you. It just makes me sad that this is what so many people think this is how to reach people and change lives in some meaningful way. We saw Ed (and Lucky). They seem to be doing great and Ed just got all these new supplies to start doing tattoos again. Eventually Joshua (Six) came by and starting making spoon rings, so he was a hit quickly. Everyone is drawn to him. You can just tell he is a good guy. Plus he loves the attention and being able to make others happy. He told us tonight that he knows he is called to encourage others. For instance, one of the girls later told him about a friend in the hospital, and so he is going to write her a letter, this girl he has never met. Not exactly the stereotype of a homeless guy.
After Woodruff we went to Centennial Olympic Park, we gave them some instruction and left them behind, with only a time and place to meet us. We interns enjoyed some dinner and a long walk back, as we stopped and talked to people. We stopped at the top of Pine and talked with some of the usual suspects. One woman, who has cussed me out and yelled at me on several occasions has been easing up recently. We have not been on friendly terms quite yet, but at least not hostile ones. Well today she took my hand and slipped my spoon ring on her finger. I knew she already had one but I told her she could keep it. She immediately gave me a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. While I appreciated that the next part is what really made it worth it: she started sharing some of her life with Andrew and me, about her son and husband and bout some of the struggles she has gone through. We didn't get to talk for long before we had to part ways, but by me reluctantly giving her a simple little ring I was able to communicate with her in a way that I have been hoping and praying for all summer. So this could just be a momentary turn around, but I will take it.
In the evening we went to Kids Club with an organization called Night Light. Night Light works to rescue women from the sex industry and part of that means prevention. The average age of entry into prostitution in the US is 11-14 years old. So Night Light works with kids to provide them with a loving environment, teach them about Christ, and show them a different type of life that is available to them, apart from gangs, violence, drugs, and prostitution. So we went to an "at risk" neighborhood and hung out with these kids; playing games, worshiping, coloring, just having a great time. I've gone to Kid's Club quite a few times but it has been about a year. So going back it was nice to see that there are a bunch of the same kids there. They didn't remember me but I remembered a handful of them. There is something about playing with kids, especially kids starved for attention that can completely lift your spirit. One girl was a little shy when I tried to talk to her, but would not let me walk away. She held my hands and sat in my lap, just trying to get some affection.
The whole mission team seemed to be enjoying it (especially in contrast to walking in the heat). One girl in particular had been talking earlier in the day about how she wanted to start a program that does basically the same thing, even before she had heard of Night Light. So this mission team decided that they are going to try to start something similar in their city when they go back home and she can help run it! So the evening apparently impacted the kids and their leaders pretty seriously.
Today we started out working at the shelter disinfecting beds. The group really didn't complain, though this wasn't the most fun of tasks, and we got it down quickly. So we had some time to check out the art gallery and chat with the guys on the street before lunch. Then we hung out at Woodruff for a bit. While we were hanging out, just talking to folks, getting to know them, some men came through handing out tracks that say "if you die tonight are you 100% sure you are going to Heaven?" on the front and then have verses and prayers that well help save you. It just makes me sad that this is what so many people think this is how to reach people and change lives in some meaningful way. We saw Ed (and Lucky). They seem to be doing great and Ed just got all these new supplies to start doing tattoos again. Eventually Joshua (Six) came by and starting making spoon rings, so he was a hit quickly. Everyone is drawn to him. You can just tell he is a good guy. Plus he loves the attention and being able to make others happy. He told us tonight that he knows he is called to encourage others. For instance, one of the girls later told him about a friend in the hospital, and so he is going to write her a letter, this girl he has never met. Not exactly the stereotype of a homeless guy.
After Woodruff we went to Centennial Olympic Park, we gave them some instruction and left them behind, with only a time and place to meet us. We interns enjoyed some dinner and a long walk back, as we stopped and talked to people. We stopped at the top of Pine and talked with some of the usual suspects. One woman, who has cussed me out and yelled at me on several occasions has been easing up recently. We have not been on friendly terms quite yet, but at least not hostile ones. Well today she took my hand and slipped my spoon ring on her finger. I knew she already had one but I told her she could keep it. She immediately gave me a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. While I appreciated that the next part is what really made it worth it: she started sharing some of her life with Andrew and me, about her son and husband and bout some of the struggles she has gone through. We didn't get to talk for long before we had to part ways, but by me reluctantly giving her a simple little ring I was able to communicate with her in a way that I have been hoping and praying for all summer. So this could just be a momentary turn around, but I will take it.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
And the World Spins Madly On
I'm sorry for my lack of blogging recently. I've been too busy being on the street to write about it. So having gotten backed up this far, I can't give a play by play of the days.
I have been "lacking in zeal" (Romans 12) recently, in many things, including my attitude on the street. It's strange how days can all be so different, different people and stories, but all start to sound the same and feel the same. So I've been impatient and maybe even a bit calloused. Some great things have been going on. Jimmy has an ID and is finally going into a program, other people seem to be making progress. But at the same time others have disappointed me. Some one who told me they were going to change something that they finally recognized as a problem, an hour later was doing that very thing. Another guy that I talk to most every time I go to the lot, was a bit drunk the one day. When Lauren said she would see him another time, he said he hoped not. In fact he hoped she never came back. This hurts, all of us. What are we doing if people we spend time with daily want no part with us? But today he said he was happy to see us. He also tagged on that he loves us. I'm not naive enough to think that he will always be happy to see us, or that we mean as much to him as he does to us, but even if that was just an off hand comment it still meant something to me.
Today was the first day with 2 new mission teams. It was hot and humid and even rained on us a bit. Still the groups were great about it, getting out and talking to people. There weren't very many people around at the bottom of the lot, when we first arrived, but I had this group following me so I looked around and went up to someone. He looked vaguely familiar but I never would have remembered his name. He didn't remember my name but clearly remembered seeing me around and talking to me. He was so sweet and asked us to pray for his Uncle.
We walked up to the top of the lot, and it really was just like meeting up with old friends. Cody, Will, Mike, Robert and some others all up there; some greeting me by name and a sweaty side hug, others with a smile or handshake. Even though I couldn't talk to them long because I was mostly concerned with watching the students, it encouraged me. It was just another one of those glimpses--ahh, this is what community is.
We did a bunch more walking and I did get to meet some new people. The groups met a ton of people, some of my friends as well as guys I've never met. I hope they enjoyed it, but the day was refreshing to me. We didn't save anyone, get anyone into a program, or anything dramatic. We just talked and laughed some. But I felt loved and welcomed (which I know I've said before but who can have too much of those). I'm looking forward to the rest of the crazy week ahead.
I have been "lacking in zeal" (Romans 12) recently, in many things, including my attitude on the street. It's strange how days can all be so different, different people and stories, but all start to sound the same and feel the same. So I've been impatient and maybe even a bit calloused. Some great things have been going on. Jimmy has an ID and is finally going into a program, other people seem to be making progress. But at the same time others have disappointed me. Some one who told me they were going to change something that they finally recognized as a problem, an hour later was doing that very thing. Another guy that I talk to most every time I go to the lot, was a bit drunk the one day. When Lauren said she would see him another time, he said he hoped not. In fact he hoped she never came back. This hurts, all of us. What are we doing if people we spend time with daily want no part with us? But today he said he was happy to see us. He also tagged on that he loves us. I'm not naive enough to think that he will always be happy to see us, or that we mean as much to him as he does to us, but even if that was just an off hand comment it still meant something to me.
Today was the first day with 2 new mission teams. It was hot and humid and even rained on us a bit. Still the groups were great about it, getting out and talking to people. There weren't very many people around at the bottom of the lot, when we first arrived, but I had this group following me so I looked around and went up to someone. He looked vaguely familiar but I never would have remembered his name. He didn't remember my name but clearly remembered seeing me around and talking to me. He was so sweet and asked us to pray for his Uncle.
We walked up to the top of the lot, and it really was just like meeting up with old friends. Cody, Will, Mike, Robert and some others all up there; some greeting me by name and a sweaty side hug, others with a smile or handshake. Even though I couldn't talk to them long because I was mostly concerned with watching the students, it encouraged me. It was just another one of those glimpses--ahh, this is what community is.
We did a bunch more walking and I did get to meet some new people. The groups met a ton of people, some of my friends as well as guys I've never met. I hope they enjoyed it, but the day was refreshing to me. We didn't save anyone, get anyone into a program, or anything dramatic. We just talked and laughed some. But I felt loved and welcomed (which I know I've said before but who can have too much of those). I'm looking forward to the rest of the crazy week ahead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)